A Poem

Warnings
by David Allen Sullivan

A can of self-defense pepper spray says it may irritate the eyes, while a bathroom heater says it's not to be used in bathrooms. I collect warningsthe way I used to collect philosophy quotes.Wittgenstein's There's no such thingas clear milk rubs shoulders with a boxof rat poison which has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.Levinas' Language is a battering ram—a sign that says the very fact of saying,is as inscrutable as the laser pointer's advice:Do not look into laser with remaining eye.Last week I boxed up the solemn rowof philosophy tomes and carted them downto the used bookstore. The dolly read:Not to be used to transport humans.Did lawyers insist that the 13-inch wheelon the wheelbarrow proclaim it'snot intended for highway use? Or that the Curling iron is for external use only?Abram says that realists render materialto give the reader the illusion of the ordinary.What would he make of Shin pads cannot protectany part of the body they do not cover?I load boxes of books onto the counter. Flipto a yellow-highlighted passage in Aristotle:Whiteness which lasts for a long time is no whiterthan whiteness which lasts only a day.People talk about the blinding glareof the obvious: Objects in the mirrorare actually behind you, Electric cattle prodonly to be used on animals, Warning: Knives are sharp.What would I have done without: Remove infantbefore folding for storage, Do not use hair dryerwhile sleeping, Eating pet rocks may lead to broken teeth, Do not use deodorant intimately?Goodbye to all those sentences that soughtto puncture the illusory world-like the warningon the polyester Halloween outfit for my son:Batman costume will not enable you to fly.
The writer’s almanac 10/13/2008